I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
