So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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