Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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