You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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