..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
