we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
