drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
