Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
