I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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