Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We named our party play list daddy issues
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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