bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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