she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
