i think my tv is drunk
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
