as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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