Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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