Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
