I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
