Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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