im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
