I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
