Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
