oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
