So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
