who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
