after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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