he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
