oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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