well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
