i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
