We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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