So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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