she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
