just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
