Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
