I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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