these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
