I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
