If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How external is "for external use only"?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
