I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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