the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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