What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
