the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
