I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
