I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
