after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
