I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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