just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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