Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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