Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
