Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
