i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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